My Unfolding

I realize the pain as a I feel through it all the way I see the little girl protecting me – keeping out all of the people and things and events that might, just maybe, might hurt. To be a do a certain way. A moving against the grain of Me.

There was a tightness, a smallness to this compression that allowed only certain things through. It did allow money.

It was money

The only thing she allowed - that taught me – is teaching me slowly, slowly to heal and at my own pace to open.

To see Her, to see Me at my fullest is the Way through. So different than the buttoned up version.

I am much softer – more fluid – more creative, more engaged, more willing to be these things in all the ways. And have been in a way always but trying not to be. And so I am learning. To be with to move with me. Learning to be loving the uniquely, beautiful version of me – checking no boxes gives me freedom. So different from who I imagined – much gentler, softer, true.

There is a slow understanding of the essence of me – reflections of value that has me Be Myself – unlike any other.

There is a slow growing into Me that requires the burning away of fear. Like a look at and loving kind of burn – taking away the sting of it. Slowly and carefully. Each one. One by one by one.

Until all there is – is Me.